The 'Season'

Singles: That season is upon us!


The holiday season of giving (as in giving your boyfriend that new cologne he's been hinting about) and receiving (the ultimate little box, draped in a big red bow from your beau)

For those of us flying solo, along with the blistering cold comes the harsh reality of having no special someone to stroll along with, enjoying Celebration in the Oaks in City Park, or to pucker up under the mistletoe to. With commercials, songs of cheer, and the Hallmark Channel movie marathons throughout the month of December, who can fault those of us appearing to have been bitten by the (bah-hum) Bug?


Someone posed this question to me about a week ago: If being single was so great, would there really be a need for the countless articles and (dare I say) blogs to convince us?

Hmmmmm...

I'll be honest: since my divorce and a fair share of 'relationships' that have crashed and burned thereafter, I've probably read at least half of the countless articles that urge me to love myself in order for someone else to love me...and to help others in need-in an attempt to shift the focus from my own issues....

-and I'm sure they're all meant to be good advice but...after trying..and trying to put the words to action (unsuccessfully) just recently, I stopped and asked myself:

Do I really need motive to love the beautiful, funny, stylish, unique, sorta smart, quirky, shy, somewhat neurotic, creative soul that is Kelly Ann Dorsey-Parker?

Or is my heart a heart that beats to the rhythm of a hidden agenda?

The answer to both questions: A resounding....NO

If you remember any lessons shared during Mating Season, make sure this one sticks:

Love YOURSELF, cause you're worthy of it; not because you need to prove it to a potential mate!!

Share your time and your good heart with others because it feels good, not because it makes you look good!

So this Christmas, there will be no brooding at the couples arm & arm & madly in love, or rolling eyes as that awful song What do the Lonely do at Christmas plays...

While writing this entry, I came across several quotes serving as inspiration for single folks (from Henry David Thoreau, to Carrie Bradshaw to Dr. Seuss) But one just really stood out above the rest:

"You can explore the universe looking for somebody who is more deserving of your love and affection than yourself, and you will not find that person anywhere."

-unknown

Enjoy loving yourself throughout this Holiday season!!

I know I will!!

All that is 'good' is not always good for you...

I love chocolate...I always have: cake-cookies-candy- hot, hard, soft, dark, white...sweet-you name it- I've also come to the realization that despite how wonderfully satisfying it is, it just isn't that good for me. The four zits decorating my face can attest to this. So sad..but the truth (in the form of four zits) is staring back at me.


It is quite frustrating to be teased with something so tantalizing; only to have the end result in disappointment.

Makes me think of my last encounter with a hot, sweet....fella. One who I'd known for quite some time, only to find out that he'd harboured a bit of a crush on me for some time.

Well, the right time presented itself: both of us unattached, decided to meet for coffee, and then a few walks, then dinner and then a movie. We were spending time together, enjoying each other-and it was GOOD! I fought it at first, but I have to admit, I was beginning to like him..and I liked what he appeared to stand for: he was a hardworking, dedicated father, generous, non-judgmental and extremely down to earth. And even more delicious: he had the nicest pair of guns (I'm an arm girl)...and eyes brown like cocoa...and hands made for massaging and caressing-

ok, you all get it! the chemistry between us was effortless and intoxicating!

BUT- just when I slowly begin to let my guard down and take in the 'happy', he appeared to work even harder and grew seemingly dedicated to much more. So much, his daily calls turned to the twice a week variety-then...once a week...ok. We do have lives-it's cool

Quickly he began to make promises he likely knew he could deliver, which was just unnecessary..and not cool-

Then, the explanations started to proceeded my questions-which my grandmother taught me was often a sign of guilt...and the stories just didn't fit-along with his cell phone being turned off when we were together. hhmmm-

I didn't want to seem suspicious of anything, but what was going on between us suddenly began to give me that unsettling feeling-like I sometimes got when I ate too much chocolate...

And after I tried to explain that a lack of trust was something I'd never tolerate, I really started to feel ill: his responses were always along the lines of....I will earn your trust...I really am a good guy...I've never been given a fair shake...Did I do something wrong???

Yes-officially nauseated!


But, not for long. This time around, I took some comfort in realizing that relationships take work, but it ain't supposed to be that hard (especially in the beginning) This was the beginning. If I had these feelings of uncertainty, mistrust and neglect now, would things really change for the better? Not...likely.

So, I'll take heed to lesson number five: Even though the 'good' can be really good, it's never worth an end result that can leave you scarred.